Cuz You Had a Bad Day

Have you ever had a bad day?  Not a day where you think to yourself, “hmm, yah this sucks,” but an actual bad day.  Murphy's law is in full force and everything that can go wrong does and then the things that can’t go wrong somehow defy all logic and go wrong too!  Have you had one of those kind of days???

Of course you have, we all have.  We get through them and then either forget about them completely or have an amazing story to tell about how we survived the worst, baddest, hellish day ever.

Now I’m going to ask you to take that bad day that is fresh on your mind and to do something with it.  I’m going to ask you to stop for a moment and think to yourself, “what if my worst day, the day that everything went wrong, the day that lives in infamy in your mind as the worst day ever, what if that day is someone else ‘normal’ day?”

Did your brain just explode a little? I’m not trying to minimize your pain in any way.  You had a bad day, no question about it.  But what if someone lives with your worst case scenario everyday?  Then what?

Let’s break this down.  Let’s say your bad day consists of your spouse being out of town, the kids are having meltdowns left and right and you can’t figure out why, your car breaks down and you lock yourself out of the house and have to call a locksmith to get you back in.  I think we can all agree that that is indeed a rough day.

But what about the single parents out there?  Their good days and bad days involve their spouse being out of town…permanently!  So what started out for you as a difficult day is their standard run of the mill, same old-same old day.  

Are you tracking with me?  OK great!  So let’s take that single parent that is neither having a bad or good day, but rather a regular ,or normal day and throw in a special needs child. Meltdowns that you do not understand are once again, the norm.  So the two things that are making your day the worst day ever are just status quo for the single parents of a special needs child.

Again, I am not negating anyone’s bad day.  Life can be hard on so many levels and there are so many degrees of “bad”.  The point I’m trying to get across is that your worst day ever, may be what someone else is living with each and every day.

This is why single parents (or couples) of special needs children often get asked the question, “I just don’t know how you do it?”  Then the one asking the question sighs and shakes their head with a, “I couldn’t do it” look on their face.  To the outsider and well meaning individual asking the question, what they are really asking is…”How do you have a bad  day every-single- day?”  But this is not how the single parent or couple views it.  They know that life is more challenging for them than others.  They know they have more stress than most.  They know that their bad day is not a child with a melt down but a child in the ER.  They know that they would give anything to trade the IEP meeting that starts in 15 minutes for a car that would “please, oh please break down, so I don’t have to attend this three hour meeting with people that don’t know my child but are trying to make life decisions on their behalf.”  They know that they would lock themselves out of the house everyday if it meant their child had the opportunities other children had and yet, they hold a smile on their face, because what would be your bad, awful, lowest day of the year, is their everyday.  

So please, have your bad day.  It’s normal and healthy to have bad days and laugh about it later, but next time a bad day that just won’t get better comes along, remember those that mimic your bad day everyday.  Send them a kind note, a meal, give them a smile.  Your bad day will end the moment the clock says the day has ended.  Once your day is fresh and better with a new perspective, use that good day you’re having to help someone else’s normal day, be full of hope.

Bad days are subjective.  Smiles and “I’m fine” often lie.  What one person struggles with on one day, may be someone else's everyday.  Let’s love one another enough to respect where each person is coming from and give grace to each individual.  You never know, they may just be having a normal day.

You’re a gift!